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1. No Pain, No Gain
“It’s always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain.” – Ron Swanson
2. Two Halves Do Not Equal A Whole
“Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing.” – Ron Swanson
3. The Only Time To Cry
“Crying – Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.” – Ron Swanson
4. The True Meaning Of Fishing
“Fishing relaxes me. It’s like yoga, except I still get to kill something.” – Ron Swanson
5. Live It, Don’t Paint It
“I also think it’s pointless for a human to paint scenes of nature when they can go outside and stand in it.” – Ron Swanson
6. Keep Religion
“What religion am I? Well, I’m a practicing none of your f—-ing business.” – Ron Swanson
7. Child Labor Ain’t So Bad
“I got my first job when I was 9. Worked at a sheet metal factory. In two weeks I was running the floor. Child labor laws are ruining this country.” – Ron Swanson
8. Americans: Free To Eat And Eat And Eat
“The whole point of this country is if you want to eat garbage, balloon up to 600 pounds and die of a heart attack at 43, you can! You are free to do so. To me, that’s beautiful.” – Ron Swanson
9. If You Gotta Let One Fly, Let It Fly
“Are you going to tell a man that he can’t fart in his own car?” – Ron Swanson
10. Meat Cannot Be Found In the Ocean
“Fish meat is practically a vegetable.” – Ron Swanson